Can't Hear the Melody
by MOVEDMira-chan1717
Summary: When Vash threatens Ivan with a gun, and Roderich is there, what will happen when Vash pulls the trigger? Will he ever help Roderich with his new disability? Yaoi, R&R please! :D REUPLOADED since I decided to use human names instead XD
1. Chapter 1

**[Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia~]**

**[This is my first time making a AustriaxSwiss fanfic, so hopefully they aren't too OOC /shot/]**

**[I reuploaded this since I wanted to have them have human names instead!]**

**xXx**

**-[Roderich's POV]-**

"Let her go!" I look around and saw Vash, my ex-best friend, holding a gun pointed at Ivan. "Let Lili go," He demands, and I turn to see the scary male holding her. I just wanted to take an afternoon stroll but it appears I won't get it.

"Vash, put the gun down!" I scowl at the littlest male and he glares back up at me, not moving his gun.

"I. Want. Her. Let. Go. Now." He growls out, and Lili whimpers.

"Brother... Put the-"

"No. Not until he lets you go, Lili." He barks out and Ivan pulls Lili closer to him. Both conflicting men are scowling and I sigh again, gripping onto my music sheets. Vash holds the gun steady, the rifle long and sleek (typical Swiss); the wind stops, creating a stagnant airflow. I cough to sort of 'break the ice', just to try to calm Vash down. The room is stuffy as Vash's eyes turn to slits. "I will shoot you, Ivan. And I will kill you. Let. Her. Go." It was silly and childish how he went to a gun as a last resort, but I wouldn't blame him, since this was the Russian holding Lili back and not someone like Feliciano, who would give her back right when he said 'Give'. Although I honestly would've had a trade; Lili for vodka.

_Wait... Can't he just give Ivan vodka?_ "Vash..." I snap out and he glares at me.

"Stay out of this, _Roderich_." He hisses out my name and I step closer to him; he aims at Ivan's head. I look at Ivan and, not wanting to get shot at (because he really would want to shoot me), do nothing. Vash looks at Ivan again, pulling the trigger.

And it's now that I realize that the Swiss bastard has earplugs in his ears. I hear the burst of the bullet clashing against the walls of the barrels and the Russian isn't hit. Vash moves when Ivan does and shoots from the left side of me, and I hear another pop, this one faint and smaller than the last one. Ivan isn't hit, but gives up and leaves. Lili had her hands covering her ears and I look at her. I play with my ears and tug on them slightly; Vash looks at me, then back to his sister, dropping the gun. He pulls her into a hug and I sigh, but when I hear it come out it's faint. I look at them and Lili looks back at me, her eyes shining. I scoff and look away from her, moving to her brother's eyes. He takes out his earbuds and looks back at me. They flash from concern to anger as I see his lips move.

"What?" I ask, but I don't hear myself say it in my normal voice. _Maybe I didn't say it loud enough...?_ I glare at him and his lips move faster, but I don't hear anything coming from them. What the hell is going on? His lips move slower, his head rocking back as Lili whispers something into his ear. He looks at me like he just figured out what happened. "Vash!" I cry out, but I hear myself faintly. "Tell me what happened!" The Swiss man doesn't move, but in fact Lili does.

Lili stands on her tiptoes; she looks at me before looking into my ears. I see her lips moving, but I can barely hear what she's saying.

**-[Vash's POV]-**

"He's got a little blood in his ear, more on the right than the left. Maybe his left eardrum is still intact, but... His right one... might be completely broken." She says, glancing back at the confused Austrian. "That's what I'm predicting. You did shoot closer to his right ear than his left. Plus, you didn't give him earbuds."

"I didn't think he would stay there if I had picked up the gun." I say, glancing back at him. It must be driving him crazy not to know what we're talking about.

"What is going on?" He asks pleadingly, and Lili shakes her head. "Vash, tell me!" His voice rings in my ears and I look away. That stupid Austrian. He should have left...! He should've let me handle it, and we wouldn't have had this happen. He plays with his right ear, and gets blood on his hand. He looks at it, bewildered, and plays with his left - the same thing happens.

"Roderich." I say, but I know he can't hear me.

"I'm... bleeding..."

Lili uses her hand to create a 'cut' on her neck, meaning 'no'. She tugs on her ear as a sign, meaning 'hear'. _'No' plus 'hear'..._

Roderich's eyes grow and he drops his music sheets.

_...I forgot about his music..._

"I-I'm deaf...?" His fragility in his voice kills me, but I try to hide it by looking away from him. _Dammit, this is why I should listen to Lili whenever she tells me to keep my guns at home... Someone gets hurt every single time! _I scowl and the Austrian grabs my hand. "This is your fault..."

_Like I didn't need him to tell me that._

"Roderich... He didn't know you would still be here when he pulled out the gun." Lili says, and Roderich looks at her lips. She repeats it again and he looks back at me. He loosens his grip on my hand but he still holds it. I'm taken back by that, but I look back up at him. I could tell he didn't fully understand what she said, but he must've connected it back, thus for the loose grip.

Roderich immediately looks at my lips, waiting for me to say something, but I don't say anything. He looks at me pleadingly, and... I'm not going to help him. I can't. I can't help him - he's already deaf. I pull my hand away and he looks up, a confused look on his face.

"Y-You're not going to help me?" He asks and I shake my head no. His frown becomes a scowl and he crosses his arms. "...Fine..." He says and turns back, exiting the room. Lili looks at me.

"Why didn't you help him, brother?"

"There's nothing to help - he's already deaf, Lili." She frowns and I grab her hand. "Plus, he and I aren't on good terms anyway. Just be happy I didn't shoot him too."


	2. Chapter 2

**~[Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia]~**

**[[Author's Note: Harvey Fletcher is a real person, and he did invent the hearing aid, look him up :)]]**

**xXx**

**-[Roderich's POV]-**

I walk home, to my house, and Elizabeta answers the door. I storm past her.

I barely hear her whisper something and I look at her, confused. Her lips move and I try to concentrate on what she's saying, but the only thing I could pick up was 'Vash'. I hand her my coat and it's now when she realizes my fingers are bloody. She looks at me and sees my ears are bloody as well; she stares in awe.

"I'm apparently deaf now, and the stupid Swiss caused it." I say, and her lips move again, saying something about how I should go see Alfred. "Alfred?" I ask, and she grabs a piece of paper. She writes and hands it to me; I read it.

'Ask him about Harvey Fletcher - the American physicist who created the hearing aid, he should be able to tell you where to get the greatest hearing aid!' I sigh, looking at her. "Hearing aid...? But I'm deaf."

Her lips move and I barely hear her, and she tries to push me out the door. I turn and push her instead, glaring at her. "You get the hearing aid, I'm not going out there, not with blood in my ear." Her confused look tells me she doesn't understand and I walk away, into the bathroom.

_Let's see if it was just the blood that's clogging the canals..._ I think and I turn on the shower, getting undressed and hopping in. I start off with a normal shower - but when I almost get out I realize I can't hear the water. I look back at the water and drench my face in it, sticking my finger in my ear, trying to get the dried blood out of there.

When I get out all the blood, I realize I still can't hear. I bite my lip; _dammit, that stupid Swiss! Deafening me and he doesn't even care!_

I hop out of the shower and dry myself off. _Maybe there's water still in there and it couldn't let me hear?_ I tell myself that it's that and I shake my head, trying to get the water out. I get dressed and decide to try again after I try calming myself down with the piano.

I walk out of the bathroom and into the piano room; I sit down and take the cover off, pressing a finger down on a key. I couldn't hear it, but I knew which key it was. I press down on a few more keys - creating a chord, and I keep pressing on them louder and harder.

I still can't hear it. I press down on it again, the hardest I can, and I hear it faintly before I hear another slight pop. I stop playing and shake my head; my left ear had popped. I stare at the keys as my hand travels up to my ear. I pull it back out again; there are little specks of blood on there.

It's then that I realize that it's not water that's causing me not to hear.

I'm actually and truly deaf. I look down at the piano, smashing my fists onto it. _Dammit! Why me? Why the hell did he have to pull out the gun? _I slam some more keys down by putting my forearms on it, resting my head down. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I squeeze my eyes shut, salty water falling from them. _Why the hell did this happen to me...?_

And I cry. I sit there, and I cry, not even worrying about whose hand is on my shoulder. I. Just. Cry.

That grip on my shoulder becomes tighter as I cry harder. _Dammit, that stupid Swiss for holding that gun near me. Stupid..._

I look up.

_...Vash...?_ His face is emotionless and he looks at me.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I ask, but I hear absolutely nothing. No little bits of it, like I used to, but just plain static echoing in my ears. It drives me crazy and I stand up, glaring down at the littler man. "I know you can hear me, so answer! Move your lips!" I yell and he looks up, a cold glare coming from his blue-green eyes. I look away for a second and he nudges my shoulder, making me look at him again.

His lips move, but the only things I can pick up is 'Lili' and 'apologize'. _Why was Lili apologizing and not him? That bastard was the one shooting the gun!_

I scowl and he gives me a confused look.

**-[Vash's POV]-**

"Y-You're... Completely deaf now, aren't you...?" He looks at me and cocks his head to the side. "You are."

"Why aren't you apologizing? Why is Lili the only one apologizing?" _...Fuck. I forgot he can't read lips very well. He thinks Lili is apologizing... Dammit._ I look around and see a piece of paper and a pen. I turn and grab it, realizing it's a piece of music, so I turn it to the back, and immediately write out: 'No, stupid, _I'M_ apologizing. I said that Lili said I should go apologize.' I hand it to him and he reads it quietly before looking back up at me. "You were apologizing..."

I nod and he drops the paper, closing his eyes, perhaps wanting to hear the light sound it makes when it hits the ground. But he can't. He won't be able to anymore. I sigh, looking at him. Tears streak his cheeks and I suddenly feel bad for the Austrian - his love of music, which is his life, is basically gone. _All because of me. No. All because of Ivan. Yes, that's it. But… I did go and pull the trigger… Dammit!_

I grab onto his hand and he looks down at me, his mouth in the shape of an o. _He's confused..._ I look away, pretending it's nothing, and he makes a whimpering sound. "Vash...?" I look back at him and he tightens his grip. "Why did you grab my hand?"

"For you to calm down." I say, entwining my fingers into his. _I really actually did want him to calm down, so maybe he could calm me down..._ He looks even more confused.

"So now you help me?" He asks and I look away. "Please?" I let go of the Austrian's hand and he bites down on his lip. That poor weak boy that I once knew - that face he made - was back and I turned away before I could stop. "Vashy..." I stop dead on my tracks, turning back to him. He knew he said my nickname from when we were little, and I glare at him. His purple eyes were closed and his face was down, but it was a reddish color.

I step towards him, and he feels it through his socks. He immediately looks up. "Why did you call me that?"

He looks at me guiltily. "I-I didn't mean to, it just slipped out..."

"I know." I say, "but don't call me it again." And with that, before I could... Hug the living daylights out of him (for that face that always made me feel even worse), I turn and walk out.


	3. Chapter 3

**-[Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia]-**

**-[Roderich's POV]-**

I stand there, watching him leave. I call out his name multiple times - he doesn't seem to care. "Vash!" I cry out, "please..." But when I hear the door slam, I glare at it sourly. He's going to just leave me...? He's the one who started it, why isn't he helping me? He helped me before!

It's then that I realize - what could he help me with? I'm useless, just as I was before. I sit back down on the bench and press my hands against the keys, wanting (and trying desperately) to hear the pitches.

**XXX**

I-I can't... I can't do it anymore.

It's all his fault... If he hadn't been angered enough to take out his gun, none of this would have happened.

**x**

_Day Five (of Being Deaf):_

_It's still complicated, really. I have gotten better at learning how to read people's lips, but it isn't helping much. Learning new words from people's mouths is hard. I've glanced at the clocks every minute, waiting to hear the small tick it would make beforehand, but I don't. I have ended up finding myself pretending I'm hearing things - but when I told Elizabeta that she said cow, she wrote down that she actually said 'now'. It was close enough, and yet, still so far away._

_I just want things to go back to the way they were. But maybe there's a silver lining in this, like something will happen to me that hasn't before. At least that's what I'm hoping._

_Vash is still avoiding me. I've gotten over the fact that it was his fault, when really it was mine. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time - just like always. So I hope he doesn't still think I'm pissed at him. Maybe that's the silver lining I mentioned before?_

_Either way, I don't want him obsessed over the fact that he made me deaf. I don't want him to torture himself. Because somewhere, deep down, I know he has that feeling. I just know it._

_Maybe that is the silver lining instead? The fact that I care that he is hurting himself?_

_But... Why would that be beneficial to me?_

**x**

I sigh, putting my pencil down. I didn't hear the sound it would make usually when it was set down, but I didn't care. I look over what I wrote and sigh again. Why would it be beneficial to me for him to know that I care about him? No, scratch that. I care that he's hurting himself and that I don't want him to. THAT'S what I care about.

...I think.

I glance around the empty room, glaring at the piano. I missed the chords I would play... I want to hear them again...!

But I look away, knowing I'll never be able to. I feel arms around me and brown hair slides around my shoulders and gets on my face. I smile and blush. "Elizabeta." I feel her neck vibrating, as if she's speaking, and I notice she's pointing at my writing. "It's nothing." Her chest heaves up and down once, like a sigh, and her throat vibrates again. "Can you write it down?" I ask and I feel her nod. She moves and grabs the paper I wrote on, flipping it to the back. I watch her write and she hands the paper to me.

_'Vash is here to see you.'_

I look up at her, confused. "Vash...? Wh-why...?" She shrugs and points to the doorway. Vash is standing there, holding his shoulder and wincing slightly. "What do you want? You left me, why are you here?"

He says something to Elizabeta and she nods, leaving the room. He looks at me. I look at his lips as he sits down on the piano bench. He motions for me to sit next to him but I don't move. "Roderich." He says and I focus on his lips. "I don't know why I even came here, but I just wanted you to know that Lili took my gun..."

"And? What did she do with it?"

"I-I... I..."

**-[Vash's POV]-**

"I-..." Should I say it? Roderich looks at my lips, so I know he's concentrating hard, and I bet it's difficult with me stuttering, so I should just spit it out. "I made her shoot me."

He reads my lips and his eyes go wide. "W-where?"

"I told her to shoot me in the head, but she couldn't do it. She shot my chest instead." He's over by me and he sits down, grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. I yelp when his chest hits my bullet wound and he curses.

"D-did I hurt you? Why would you think of doing this, you idiot?" I swallow back anything I was going to say and I look at him, into his purple eyes. He focuses on my lips, probably waiting for an explanation, but I don't give him one. He notices the blood creeping through my shirt and he closes his eyes.

"I wanted to fucking die, only since you felt like doing the same. I took away your life. That was the reason why I did it... I was just going to get back to my normal life but that image of you pounding your hands on the keys kept crawling back into my head! It hurt, okay?" I yelp out and he looks back at me.

"Vash... You're an idiot...! Do you know how reckless this is...? You could've TALKED to me!" He shouts and tears fall out of his eyes. _Why is HE crying?_

"How can I talk to you when you don't even know what the hell I'm saying?" I scream, and he didn't know what I said, since he's too busy unbuttoning my shirt.

He ignores looking at my lips again and slips off my shirt. His eyes lock on the scar I have from him when we fought, but his fingers trace the bullet in my left shoulder, getting bloody. "Vash..."

"You know it's true..." He nods and I can tell he's still panicking. _Why?_ He hesitates and gets up, starting to dig through some drawers and cupboards. "Roderich? What are you doing?"

He ignores me again and mutters out, "I-I know they're here... I know they are... Where are they?"

What is he looking for? I hold my hand up to my wound and yelp slightly.

"Roderich," I call out his name and he opens up a drawer, and yells.

"Yes!"

He comes back to me and sprays me with something. I look at him confused. "What the hell was-"

"You should feel better..." He then places down the bottle and starts wrapping my wound. I look at the bottle. Was that the same bottle I had used every single time he got hurt...? I start feeling bad again and he notices it. He buries his head into my shoulder, muttering out my name. "Please get better, you idiot..."

"I don't want to," I mutter out and hold him close to me. He doesn't say anything else, and I look at him. Is he sleeping? I laugh slightly and he moves his head onto my wound. I screech slightly and shove him off of me. He lands on the floor and I sigh. "Shit."

He wakes up and hits me. "Why did you push me off?" I lock eyes with him and shake my head. I point to the bed and he sighs, sliding off his coat. I look away when he takes off his undershirt, and when I hear scuffling, I look. He holds the blanket up slightly. "I want you to sleep next to me. So if something happens... you can wake me up..." He is pleading with his eyes. I sigh once more and look away. He pouts and whispers out, "Please...?"

"Fine." I get up and walk over to him, getting into his bed awkwardly. He looks satisfied and turns over. I look at his skinny back, his spine slightly showing. I sigh again and reach out to touch his hip. He gasps slightly and I pull away. He looks at me and I look away, turning over. It sends a spark of pain up my spine but I ignore it.

"Thank you for sleeping next to me..." He whispers out into my ear and turns back.

"No... Problem... I-I guess..."


End file.
